Here's Something Odd

I haven't posted in a bit, it's been busy. But now that I have a week off from work, I guess I have the time now. But I don't know what to write about tonight, so I suppose I will come back in the morning or at some point, hopefully with an idea.

Orgasm?!?!?!

So in my last post, I stated how I have never had an orgasm. Never. Ever. I feel somewhat sorry for the men who I have had sex with, because yes, I have faked about 90% of the time. Yes, there have been times where I was upfront with the guy, telling them that it just wasn't going to happen. But then, sometimes, they will try their damnedest to accomplish the impossible. At first it's quite nice, spectacular on occasion, but when they constantly keep repeating, "But I want to get you off....", there comes a point where their efforts start to look pathetic. So, I clench some muscles, build up a moan, and there you have it. A satisfied man who thinks he is God. So you may say that what I am doing is wrong, by not being honest. Now that there is where I disagree. See, I am the only one who knows I am faking, and that guys self esteem got a swift kick in the ass. So, where am I in the wrong?

Moving on, my grandmother has a savings account for me to go to college. I have done the math on that, you know, what's in the account for me to go to school. So is it wrong that today, when I went to get my check for school, I requested a little extra money for my books? Hey, I'm a broke college kid and shit costs money. It's not like I am spending my money on Farmville like some people, oh no oh no, I am just compulsively shopping like any other responsible twenty year old.

Apple comma Absurd

Here We Go.....Again

I haven't had a blog since Xanga, and at that time, I was fourteen years old, discussing the events of my school day. Maybe it's time I take this thing more seriously?

No names, O.K.? What's the point? The world judges me all the time, and it knows my identity 24/7, so you don't need to know who I am. I figure, that way when you do judge me, I will just be a figment of your imagination. Except the figment really does exist...you just don't actually know me.

So where to start? I am twenty years old, and I have always wanted to be a writer. Or something that would get me famous without actually having to expose my ass, tits, or cooter. Nowadays, it seems to be that those won't get many people far. I am an Allied Health major, in a nutshell, that means at some point I will be a nurse. At some point in my life, I will be cleaning bed pans and helping to save lives. Yes, it sounds like I just don't give a fuck. I do actually...give a fuck. It's just that what I am doing now, with school, is not exactly the most exciting thing. I am still in a classroom, I am not actually doing anything hands on. I WANT TO DO SOMETHING HANDS ON!

Anyways, what else? I lost my virginity at sixteen. In Cancun, Mexico. To a stranger I had known for less than twenty-four hours. My first kiss? Thirteen years old, Orlando, Florida, stranger - less than two hours. I think as far as sexual landmarks go, I take the cake for not actually ever having to see those people again. Chuck, for example. Two minutes of utter shame for him, because I was so blissfully unaware of how sex was supposed to feel, that I had to ask him, "Is it in yet?" Feel free to cringe if you have a penis. In a nutshell, he's probably out somewhere in Montana or Colorado, or wherever the hell he is from. He is definitely never sharing that story with his friends. And if he does, he has changed a few details, which makes him a fucking liar.

My life has been full of bad sex, bad relationships, and bad men. Again, I know I am young, but fuck, I am alone. And I hate it. Truth is, I have never had an orgasm. And I'll end this post on that note. I'll pick this up tomorrow.

Absurd comma Apple.